This
website is based on a book that uses the movie, Monty Python
and the Holy Grail, as an analogy for the life in a modern corporation
- an illusive objective, bloated egos, a dysfunctional leadership
team, and idiocy all around. JUL 30
Thou Shalt Count to 3, No More, No Less
MAKING SIMPLE THINGS COMPLICATED
Arthur decides that a different method to defeat the rabbit is needed and he calls for Brother Maynard to bring the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. Not quite sure how to use it, they must consult with the Holy Book of Armaments, chapter 2 verses 9 to 21.
"And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.”
Arthur reaches for grenade, counts to five (oops), and throws it, decimating the area and hopefully, the bunny.
Isn’t this passage much like the way we write in business with way too much explanation (you gotta cover your ass) and the assumption that the audience is comprised of idiots? Ever read the instructions that come with some piece of equipment that needs some minor assembly and become befuddled because the first three steps are devoted to unscrewing the cover?
The cascade of complexity starts innocently enough. Let’s discuss something most corporate employees are familiar with - annual goals and performance review. Most companies require SMART goals for the annual performance reviews. SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Realistic, and Time-bound. The SMART format makes it easier and more objective to rate goal achievement. For instance, “Providing excellent customer service” is not a SMART goal while “Performing as the top one or two customer service centers on an annual customer survey” is a SMART goal. SMART goals are a standard practice at many companies to make performance measurement as objective as possible. Here’s how SMART goals can go awry.
Several years ago, I had a direct report whose job responsibility was to help other employees with computer applications and provide telephone help for their questions and inquiries. I thought this was an important of part of her job and rated it as 20% of her annual performance. To rate her performance, my plan was to randomly contact people who had called for help and ask for their feedback. However, providing customer service help was not a SMART goal, and HR wanted me to rewrite the goal to conform to SMART standards. They suggested I add “helping x many employees in a month,” and I laughed. I only wanted her to help those who called and not have her solicit anymore nor be penalized if fewer called. Then they suggested that we implement a customer satisfaction survey for everyone who called and establish a satisfaction index by which we could measure her performance. Thus, everyone who called for help would now be burdened with filling out a survey, resulting in annoying people and inhibiting calls. Not to mention, tallying the survey results would be a new job responsibility for her. That would have to be added to her goals. That wouldn’t be a SMART goal. That would need some kind of measurement to be SMART. After I mentioned these potential consequences, I prevailed with my original plan to ask for feedback.
